- hurt you straight away or
- it may be something that grates on your nerves for a long time.
Whether or not I taught my child a negative behaviour or whether they learnt it from elsewhere I am directly responsible for it.
It is something I need to take onboard, address it and try to prevent it from happening again.
Of course being criticised for something that a child does naturally, like snatching a toy or not sharing a toy says more about the adult doing the criticising than it does about the child being criticised. I think we as adults should be more critical about ourselves than we are about other people’s children.
Our children are learning directly from the example that we are setting. A lot of parents that I meet are burying their heads in the sand, ready to blame everyone else
Doing a self assessment
At work the full time staff are having their annual self assessment whereby they fill in a form, meet with their superiors to discuss the form and set some goals to achieve before spending the rest of the year ignoring the goals – but hey they ticked the box in the form so the beaurcrats are happy.
When I was a full time employee some years ago, we had a fortnightly one-to-one with the head of the department. While we didn’t fill in any forms it was the frequency of the mini assessment that would keep us on track and checking our own performance as we knew that in two weeks we wouldn’t want to have an akward converstation again.
Some of the best parents I know are those who are continually self assessing themselves and trying to improve themselves and are open to learning new things.
It’s okay to get things wrong, there’s no shame in that, don’t beat yourself up over it, it happens, we all do it, none of us is perfect. But better parents take responsibility for their own mistakes and try to learn from them rather than those parents who are ready to blame anyone else except themselves.
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I’d really like to know if and how you coped with someone criticising your child, what actions you took to address it and how your relationship with that person differed afterwards. Please use the comment boxes below to share your stories.